Friday, February 26
6:00 am
Juna wakes, "Are we going now."
Today, daddy and Juna are going on their first big trip together, to "Natucky," as Juna says. She is very excited, and it makes my heart swell, but I'm afraid on Wednesday I was fighting back panic attacks and balling. At 5 years and 7 months, it will be the first time Juna will be away from me for 3 days and 2 nights.
to be continued... it's still only 6:30 am
Sunny Day
Friday, February 26, 2016
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Saturday, February 7th, The Day Juna Lost Her First Baby Tooth
Dear Tooth Fairy
Juna has been asking me for about a year, when her she would get a loose tooth. It is high on her bucket list. So, imagine her excitement when this wish came true. It happened like this:
Tuesday - She was at a friend's house, while mommy was at work. When I picked her up, she told me that she had bitten into a apple, that she saw a some blood on the apple and that the spot spread, she told the friend who gave her something to hold on it. That is how she found that her tooth was loose.
Tuesday-Saturday - She tested it many times a day. She was so excited she wanted to tell everyone, and she kept wondering when it would come out.
Saturday - She wakes about 6:00. She checks her wiggle about 6:15. 6:18 she holds up her tooth. WHAT?
Saturday Night - She puts her tooth under her pillow, in the tooth fairy box. She writes the tooth fairy a note asking to leave her tooth so she can also put it under her pillow the next night at mommy's house. (My heart melts!) Daddy leaves her coins from the tooth fairy.
Sunday Night - I got her this carved stone owl and stones from the tooth fairy. Can't wait to see the look on her face!
Monday Morning -
Love,
Juna's Mom, a.k.a the Tooth Fairy
Juna's Notes to the Tooth Fairy:
2nd Note: Tooth Fairy, can you leave two pictures of you. Mu Love love love you
Dear Juna,
This is a beautiful tooth! And your very first one! I will take very good care of it always. Did you know, when you give me your tooth, you also get to make a wish, and I will work very hard to make it come true. I thought it was very sweet that you wanted to keep the tooth so your mommy could also celebrate this wonderful event with you, so I left it for you. I also wanted to give you something else extra special, because loosing your first tooth is extra special. Here is your spirit animal. This carved stone owl will always watch over you and keep you safe and happy, and the three stones will bring you good luck. You are a wonderful child and every day you bring great joy and happiness to every one and thing around you. You are very special and I love you. See you next time you loose a tooth.
Love,
The Tooth Fairy
Juna has been asking me for about a year, when her she would get a loose tooth. It is high on her bucket list. So, imagine her excitement when this wish came true. It happened like this:
Tuesday - She was at a friend's house, while mommy was at work. When I picked her up, she told me that she had bitten into a apple, that she saw a some blood on the apple and that the spot spread, she told the friend who gave her something to hold on it. That is how she found that her tooth was loose.
Tuesday-Saturday - She tested it many times a day. She was so excited she wanted to tell everyone, and she kept wondering when it would come out.
Saturday - She wakes about 6:00. She checks her wiggle about 6:15. 6:18 she holds up her tooth. WHAT?
Saturday Night - She puts her tooth under her pillow, in the tooth fairy box. She writes the tooth fairy a note asking to leave her tooth so she can also put it under her pillow the next night at mommy's house. (My heart melts!) Daddy leaves her coins from the tooth fairy.
Sunday Night - I got her this carved stone owl and stones from the tooth fairy. Can't wait to see the look on her face!
Monday Morning -
Love,
Juna's Mom, a.k.a the Tooth Fairy
Juna's Notes to the Tooth Fairy:
1st Note: "can take my tute so I can lev et ed my re lo to nit"
Juna's translation: Please tooth fairy, can you bring my tooth back so I can leave it at my mommy's tonight? Thank you.2nd Note: Tooth Fairy, can you leave two pictures of you. Mu Love love love you
Dear Juna,
This is a beautiful tooth! And your very first one! I will take very good care of it always. Did you know, when you give me your tooth, you also get to make a wish, and I will work very hard to make it come true. I thought it was very sweet that you wanted to keep the tooth so your mommy could also celebrate this wonderful event with you, so I left it for you. I also wanted to give you something else extra special, because loosing your first tooth is extra special. Here is your spirit animal. This carved stone owl will always watch over you and keep you safe and happy, and the three stones will bring you good luck. You are a wonderful child and every day you bring great joy and happiness to every one and thing around you. You are very special and I love you. See you next time you loose a tooth.
Love,
The Tooth Fairy
After The Separation
so, sometimes, you drink a little wine
and then, the words start coming,
pouring out, like that bottle... into an empty glass
and you think, well, you think a lot of different shit
like... I miss my daughter, and although
the free time is nice, right?
you still wish you were in bed beside her
hearing her breathing in the dark
knowing she is sleeping there
and then, you think about where you are
where your life is going, and how the
not knowing is hard, but you are staying the course
and that's okay, because you are thinking
about the next day and what you will be doing
but, but... no matter what you are doing
you are still thinking about the miraculous beauty
of her, of her blue eyes, and you wish
again, that life was perfect... for her.
Oh yeah, you remind yourself, this is where we are,
this is what is happening, it's all okay. It will be okay.
And you try to think of something else.
And you can. But, it's also okay, if you don't.
because even the thought of your daughter
makes you happy too. even if, even if...
you are not with her, and she is not with you
physically. there are always so many other things
to think about. there are.
but it is the one thing that truly brings you back to
who you are.
And I am, because of that.
I am a mother. I am your mother.
and then, the words start coming,
pouring out, like that bottle... into an empty glass
and you think, well, you think a lot of different shit
like... I miss my daughter, and although
the free time is nice, right?
you still wish you were in bed beside her
hearing her breathing in the dark
knowing she is sleeping there
and then, you think about where you are
where your life is going, and how the
not knowing is hard, but you are staying the course
and that's okay, because you are thinking
about the next day and what you will be doing
but, but... no matter what you are doing
you are still thinking about the miraculous beauty
of her, of her blue eyes, and you wish
again, that life was perfect... for her.
Oh yeah, you remind yourself, this is where we are,
this is what is happening, it's all okay. It will be okay.
And you try to think of something else.
And you can. But, it's also okay, if you don't.
because even the thought of your daughter
makes you happy too. even if, even if...
you are not with her, and she is not with you
physically. there are always so many other things
to think about. there are.
but it is the one thing that truly brings you back to
who you are.
And I am, because of that.
I am a mother. I am your mother.
I have experienced no other completeness as that.
because that is where love finds its home.
that is you.
Juna.
that is you.
Juna.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Dear Juna, you are now five and a half
My heart fills up
Every time I see you
Your smiles, every sound
That you make, every dream
You tell me, when you wake,
You are, something that I
Can't define, no words
Can take the place of you
Can describe your face
You are the very heart if me
Which I had such a hard time
In finding, until you
Every time I see you
Your smiles, every sound
That you make, every dream
You tell me, when you wake,
You are, something that I
Can't define, no words
Can take the place of you
Can describe your face
You are the very heart if me
Which I had such a hard time
In finding, until you
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Juna Tales
JUNA, WILD AND FREE
That's my Juna,
wild and free,
just as she ought to be,
from the tips of her toes
to the tip of her nose,
wild beauty,
how she grows
her spirit sparks
a light that shows
love she needs,
love she knows,
dream lovely
like the stars above
hold the moon
in your hands
Juna, my love
JUNA GOES SAILING
This is my boat.
My boat and me.
My boat will stay afloat.
I sail on the silver sea.
Through storms,
through winds,
through desert sun,
I am wild and free.
I return home again.
My little boat and me.
Safe and sound
on green ground,
my boat and me.
That's my Juna,
wild and free,
just as she ought to be,
from the tips of her toes
to the tip of her nose,
wild beauty,
how she grows
her spirit sparks
a light that shows
love she needs,
love she knows,
dream lovely
like the stars above
hold the moon
in your hands
Juna, my love
JUNA GOES SAILING
This is my boat.
My boat and me.
My boat will stay afloat.
I sail on the silver sea.
Through storms,
through winds,
through desert sun,
I am wild and free.
I return home again.
My little boat and me.
Safe and sound
on green ground,
my boat and me.
Monday, December 15, 2014
Bucket Lists
A Mother And Her Daughter's Bucket Lists
100 Things I Would Love To Do (a work in progress...)
Mama
1. live abroad
2. travel to every continent, at least
3. speak proficient Spanish
4. make enough money to donate and retire
5. make a difference
6. make the world a better place
7. live happily
8. live in thankfulness
9. reunite with a long lost friend
10. make amends
11. read more books
12. create art
13. get published
14. celebrate my 20th, 30th and 40th wedding anniversary
15. celebrate my 80th birthday, while still healthy
16. get my Master's
17. become a public speaker
18. live in a house I love to be in
19. feel comfortable in my skin
20. heal my wounds
21. help others with similar traumas
22. spend more time outside
23. exercise and enjoy it
24. live without daily physical pain
25. feel beautiful again
25. revisit Ecuador
26. find inner peace
27. support my daughter to find her happiness
28. get my dream job
29. change the system
30. have friends all over the world
31. eat healthy, delicious food
32. learn to cook before mentioned food
33. write a children's book
34. learn photography
35. celebrate my daughter's accomplishments
36. practice one-mindedness
37. age well
38. change a tire
39. never stop learning
40. get sober
Daughter (age 4)
1. hug a penguin
2. hold another dead bird
3. ride in a submarine
4. ride a tiger
5. travel to another country
6. go to Mexico
7. ride in a kangaroo's pouch
8. dance ballet
9. rock climbing
10. be an acrobat
11. be a veterinarian
12. change name to Elsa
13. change name to Annie and dye hair red
14. change name to Wendy and dye hair blond
15. be an avid theater-goer
16. learn to ice skate
17. learn to swim underwater
18. have children
19. visit Alex
20. ride an elephant's trunk
21. ride a unicorn, if they are real, I don't know
22. have a pink VW bug
23. have a dog, a cat, a unicorn for pets
24. learn an instrument
25. watch Paddington again
26. paint house in rainbows
27. sleep by myself when I'm ready
28. always live with my mama
29. have magical powers that make stuffed animals real
30. make wishes come true
100 Things I Would Love To Do (a work in progress...)
Mama
1. live abroad
2. travel to every continent, at least
3. speak proficient Spanish
4. make enough money to donate and retire
5. make a difference
6. make the world a better place
7. live happily
8. live in thankfulness
9. reunite with a long lost friend
10. make amends
11. read more books
12. create art
13. get published
14. celebrate my 20th, 30th and 40th wedding anniversary
15. celebrate my 80th birthday, while still healthy
16. get my Master's
17. become a public speaker
18. live in a house I love to be in
19. feel comfortable in my skin
20. heal my wounds
21. help others with similar traumas
22. spend more time outside
23. exercise and enjoy it
24. live without daily physical pain
25. feel beautiful again
25. revisit Ecuador
26. find inner peace
27. support my daughter to find her happiness
28. get my dream job
29. change the system
30. have friends all over the world
31. eat healthy, delicious food
32. learn to cook before mentioned food
33. write a children's book
34. learn photography
35. celebrate my daughter's accomplishments
36. practice one-mindedness
37. age well
38. change a tire
39. never stop learning
40. get sober
1. hug a penguin
2. hold another dead bird
3. ride in a submarine
4. ride a tiger
5. travel to another country
6. go to Mexico
7. ride in a kangaroo's pouch
8. dance ballet
9. rock climbing
10. be an acrobat
11. be a veterinarian
12. change name to Elsa
13. change name to Annie and dye hair red
14. change name to Wendy and dye hair blond
15. be an avid theater-goer
16. learn to ice skate
17. learn to swim underwater
18. have children
19. visit Alex
20. ride an elephant's trunk
21. ride a unicorn, if they are real, I don't know
22. have a pink VW bug
23. have a dog, a cat, a unicorn for pets
24. learn an instrument
25. watch Paddington again
26. paint house in rainbows
27. sleep by myself when I'm ready
28. always live with my mama
29. have magical powers that make stuffed animals real
30. make wishes come true
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)