Then You Were Two

Two

                                                       July 2013

For the first few months of 2, I thought, mistakenly,
"Maybe we won't go through what they term the "terrible twos"?  
Ahhh, and then, there it was.  "Hello TWO."

One of the times of greatest change,
absolutely awe inspiring and
painfully challenging at the same time

However tough it is on us, we remind ourselves,
it is tougher on them, and that we should take a lesson
from how easily and quickly they CAN recover
from the immensity of the intensity
of new and confusing emotions
as they navigate this complex world
with all of the new skills they are learning
and honing every minute of every day

You are 2
and you are absolutely amazing
in all of the things that you do

                                         5 days to 3

Because You Have Emotions and They Are Real

I can not say NEVER,
because I know it is something
that I have done,
and that I will do it again,
and I apologize,
but I promise to try
to listen to, validate and respond
accordingly to your feelings,
instead of dictating what they should be.
You are a child, you are young,
you do not have all of the language yet
to identify, understand or express
all of those very strong emotions
that you have, and it is my job
to help you learn how to.
You are a child
and this does not mean
that your emotions do not count,
that they should be ignored
just because you do not have the words
to explain them, or because
they are so big, you can not contain them,
that they are not REAL
just because they seem "over-the-top"
to the adults around you who have learned
to "control" or dull their own feelings.
I do not want to teach you that
some feeling are GOOD and some are BAD
that some are RIGHT and some are WRONG,
I don't want to applaud your unbridled excitement,
your exuberant joy, your uncontainable love
and then frown upon your anger,
your frustration, your fear, your sadness,
because all feelings have a place
and all feeling are valid,
and you will feel them all in your life
and that is as it should be.

Because it is my job
to help you identify your feelings
I will try not to confuse
what you learn about the world
by telling you that what you feel
is the WRONG way to feel,
with statements like, "Oh, that doesn't hurt."
or "That's not something to cry about."
because it may hurt and if you are crying,
then for you, it IS something to cry about,
because it is not my job to TELL you HOW to feel,
it is my job to help you understand how you feel,
to process those strong emotions and
learn how to communicate them.
I do not want to confuse your learning process
by telling you that you are NOT feeling sad
when you are feeling sad.

Because I do not want to teach you
not to feel, not to express your feelings,
and not to be able to talk about them,
or that what you feel is WRONG
because someone else thinks
you should not feel the way you do,
I want you to be confident in your own feelings
and not let anyone dictate your feelings to you.
Because I do not want to teach you
to feel ashamed, embarrassed, or silly
for feeling what you feel.

I want you to have a voice.
I want you to feel powerful.
I want you to feel confident and proud.