Hello Tooth #9

Junabug got her first molar, a monster of a thing, I could swear it was two! This is #9 and the first one which did not issue in with a missed or delayed nap. I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch, because we have 3 more to go, but it wasn't too bad... in fact, I just happened to see in her mouth on Saturday and said, "Oh, she's got a new tooth!"

Reading

On Disciplinging Your Baby

I looked this up on the internet, out of curiousity,
and also because my husband has talked of "disciplining" our baby,
and frankly, the things I read, made me kind of sick...
Juna, I want you to know, I will never hit you,
any part of you, I will never raise my hand to you in anger
or frustration, I will never use hitting or spanking as
a way to "teach" you or change your behaviors...
what I want to say to the people who posted what I read,
is educate yourself, know what is normal developmentally
and understand that your child is a child and not an adult,
and thinks differently then you or I.
Juna, what I want you to know is that the world
is a compassionate and safe place, and when it is not,
I want you to know that you can come to me
and I will be that safe and compassionate place for you,
because what I learned as a child and as an adult
is that learning comes from love, and discipline
comes from respect.  And I respect you.

Little Notes: The Sweetest Thing

 Juna's sleeping face as the first thing I see in the morning.  

How could it not be a great big beautiful day?

Reflection On Today's Relationships

How do I teach you about love
in this throw-away society

A Walking Song At Naptime

the sky is blue
up above
wind blows clouds,
wispy and white,
and then there is
the big yellow moon
and stars shining
just for you
so many things
so many things
for you to explore
love and know
so let's go

Ten Reasons Why Spanking Is NOT OK OR Why Juna Will Never Be Spanked

1.  We try to teach our kids that it is NOT ok to hit
2.  Spank is just another word for hit
3.  The world doesn't need any more violence
4.  The Golden Rule
5.  First do no harm
6.  Research links spanking to aggressive and risky behaviors
7.  There are many other techniques that actually work
8.  Pick on someone your own size
9.  It is never ok to inflict bodily harm on another
10.  All relationships should be built on mutual respect

Things I Want To Remember About Juna In November

Tomorrow you will be 16 months old,
1) You love to give hugs to everyone, even the plants and objects around the house
2) And especially, your favorite lovies; the badger twins, funny bunny, ribbit, le petit chicken, blue tiger and sleepy sheep, all of whom you also like to dress, feed and take to bed and in the car with you
3) You are crazy about writing and drawing, dancing and singing, vacuuming and cleaning, baths
4) Your best friends are Adele, Alex and Gracelyn
5) Your favorite books are Animals, Big and Little, Down By The Station, MOO and Carl
6) You love dogs!  The first word you say in the morning is "arf."  Your other favorite animal is monkey.
7) Your favorite words are mama, ut-oh, no, yes, this and whee
8) Your favorite toys are popper, the pool of balls, the sandbox, your music player
9) You like going to the park, especially for the swings and slide, the gymnasium, storytime, Botanical Gardens
10) You like to watch "Yo Gabba Gabba," "The Backyardigans," and "Mango and Papaya"
11) You fall asleep by taking a short walk with mama in the carrier & laying in bed with mama at night
12) You have a vocabulary of 30 words, growing every day, 5 signs and many animal sounds
13) Your favorite games are hide and seek peekaboo, jumping on the bed
14) Your favorite foods, at the moment, are tofu, pasta, bread, yogurt, you will try anything but spit most things out
15) You love new places, new people and learning new things
16) You are brave, intelligent, creative and beautiful

I Am Not A Perfect Mother

I am not the ideal mother
that I always aspired to be
before the reality of motherhood
ascended on me, with all of its'
beauty and heartbreak,
breath-taking wonder
and confused frustrations,
I was never so naive that I believed
that I could be perfect in this,
when I failed to be in the previous
roles in my life, I bit my tongue
when remarking on other moms'
choices who came before me,
acknowlegding that, even though I
didn't think I would do it that way,
I just had no way of knowing,
and I have come to understand
so many of those things that
I looked down on before
I had a child of my own,
So I have made mistakes
and I will doubtless keep making them,
although for now, dear Juna,
you look at me and all you can see
is your mother who loves and adores you
one day you will think differently,
when you are slamming a door
or fighting with me about the boy you see
and I will tell you, "I am not a perfect mother,
but I only want what's best for you."
You may not understand this
for a very long time, but one day
when you are a mother, I hope
you read it and think,
"My mother wasn't perfect,
and neither am I,
but she was a great mom,
and so am I."

To "Auntie" Stevie, Who Will Soon Be A Mother

My dearest friend,
you have amazed me every moment
since the moment we met,
what exactly it is, I can not say
except that your soul shines
in the most beautiful way,
and now your journey
has taken a surprising turn,
you are soon to add "mama"
to the words that describe you,
and that sweet baby inside you
knew exactly who it was choosing,
that little soul said, "I want those two!"
because it knew that no matter
what the time and place,
you and he were the perfect pair
to love and take care
of that little beating heart in there,
and of that baby, soon to be,
the most amazing thing in all of history.

I can tell you why the seasons change like they do
I can describe what makes the stars and the moon
But I can not explain to you why people hate the way they do
so in contradiction to

the way that I love you

A Favorite Book

 Juna asks me to read Ba Ba Ha Ha

 She wanted to study the picture a little more...

 She turned the book over to the back...

She pointed to the small face that was the same as the one on the page she just looked at!

I couldn't believe this!  I had never done this with her, she thought of it all on her own.  A few weeks before she had started looking at the back of the book, I had never paid much attention to it, and then this!  This book was given to us by a friend, who actually wrote it!  He is a local artist.

Juna loves this book!

I am now selling this book for commission, if you are interested in buying a copy from me, email me @ cramuten@hotmai.com or go to the official website: http://babahaha.com/story.php

please leave a comment that you saw the book here, or leave a comment here that you

bought a copy.  Every bit helps to keep me home longer with my baby!  Thanks!

When Juna Wakes

When Juna wakes

with first light

I turn to her

she looks in my eyes

smiles big and says "Hi"

When Juna wakes

she tells me all about

the sweet dreams she had

she points to the objects

in the room and listens

for their names,

fan, window, pictures

She stretches, her arms and legs

straight out and her little

round tummy sticking up

which reminds her

about her belly button

which she shows me and

presses with her finger

and then it is my turn

When Juna wakes 

rolls, tumbles and pounces

around in the pillows

and laughs, it's the 

sweetest sound 

I've ever heard

and she loves each day

I think, as much as I love her

then I say "up" and 

she stands and 

reaches out her arms, palms up

and I say "jump" and 

she is in my arms

she puts her head 

on my shoulder

and wraps her arms 

around my neck

I can not imagine 

a more wonderful way

to start my day

To My Husband

To My Husband
who is amazing because
he is a go-getter with big plans
he is the hardest worker I know
because he comes home and
takes the baby, and takes out the recycling
and waters the garden, and does homework
and a million other things after work
because he is innovative and enthusiastic
about new ways to help others
about bringing people together
because he thinks on his feet
and uses those feet to peddle to work
because he loves to stay active
to travel, to see new places and meet new people
because he always sticks his neck out
and helps a friend or a stranger
without hesitation, because when
my family needs anything, he is right there
volunteering his time, his energy, his money
even when we haven’t a dime
because he sends me sweet messages
that brighten my day, and he knows
I need time away or to myself
and he holds my hand when I cry
and he still makes me laugh and smile
because he is fully committed to me and
our beautiful child, because when I see him
with her and the light in both of their eyes
it fills my heart with such happiness
it might burst, because i love my husband
because he loves me, this is for my husband
who is amazing in so many ways
these are just a few

Juna, My Teacher

I will grow with you
and I will always know with you
that life can be good and sweet.
I will learn with you
the wonders of the world
that I see through your eyes.
I will walk with you
through forests green and ripe
and by the turning waves at the seaside.

A Lullaby For Juna

You won't always be my little baby
but you will always be my child,
You won't always need me
the way you need me now,
but you will always need me
and I will always need you,
You will grow up, and I will watch you,
and I will hold your hand, every step of the way
And I will always love you
the way I love you now
And I will hold you in my heart
every moment of every hour

Memories of Your Great-Grandmother, Charlotte

Dear Juna, My Daughter,

I want to share with you my memories
of your great-grandmother Charlotte
So that as you grow, you will remember her too,
because she is a part of you,
just as she is a part of me
And forever will be.

My childhood was filled with snowbanks
and sledding on the slopes in the backyard
of my grandmother's house, where a little
creek ran through, and a great big tree grew,
where we walked through the woods
and down to the neighbor's pond and back again,
and grandma, always with a smile,
warming our fingers and toes.

My childhood was filled with Christmases
and summers sitting in her living room,
playing dominoes and always fruit jello,
winding up her music boxes and opening
the lids to find what treasures hid inside,
climbing on her mountain of a bed to
play oh so carefully with the dolls
that she had played with when she was a child,
and my grandma, showing me old photos
from her youth, she kept everyone alive
in her memories for me and you.

And as I grew, she was always there
a string of love attached us two,
I felt her presence and pride every time
I accomplished something great,

and every time I cried, I felt her shoulder too.

My grandmother was beautiful, a beauty
that came from a great big heart,
and she gave that heart to me and to you.
I never in my whole life heard a single
unkind word come from her lips,
she was generous and sweet and strong,
the strongest woman I ever knew.

There will never be another person
like your great-grandmother,
who made us who we are,
who gave us an incredible family
that anchors us in any storm.
You, my daughter, will carry her traits
and I will say one day, "How very much
like your great-grandmother you are!"

She will always be in my heart
that is bigger and stronger because I knew her
and she will always be in yours too.

Juna Laughs

Juna laughs
when she wakes
when she sees my face
at her favorite toys
like sleepy sheep
and singing bee
when someone she loves
comes through the door
at anyone at the store
her laughter fills the room
when you stick out your tongue
and whenever she is having fun
she laughs when she is singing
dancing and crawling and
when I hold her hand
to walk across the room

Dear Tooth #3

It's about damn time!  What were you thinking?  But hey, we are just so glad to see you after such a long wait.  We forgive you for keeping Juna awake yesterday and making her miserable for the last 4 months, because you and she will be friends for years to come and I think it will be a mutually beneficial friendship.  Love, Juna's Mama

Traveling With Baby

On Crying-It-Out As A Training Method

Someone recently asked me, "Do you let her cry?"  That got me to reflecting on my parenting style, and I realized why my answer is "Not if I can help it." It won't be long before Juna finds out that the world is sometimes an unsafe, unkind, unfriendly, unpredictable, unhappy place where some are bent on destruction and hate.  So, for the brief time that I have this power to make Juna's world a safe, kind, gentle, loving and happy place, I will do everything in my power to do so.  I WILL NOT be part of the cause of her learning these truths, and when she does, she will know that she has a safe haven that she can come home to.

Juna At 10 Months

The 10 Reasons Juna Yells & Cries
1 She doesn't get to do what she wants, i.e. play in the cat's bowls
2 When she is tired but can't fall asleep
3 She only wants to feed herself, or rather, play with her food
4 When daddy takes a shower
5 She bites and then doesn't get to nurse
6 Taking clothes on or off
7 Diaper changes
8 When coveted objects are removed from reach
9 When mama walks away, even 5 steps
10 When any of her care takers leave

My First Mother's Day

I wanted to write something on Mother's Day about being a mom, but I couldn't find the time.  Enough said.

Thank You Juna

Thank you Juna,
for reuniting my self with my body
for encouraging me to love my body,
no matter how much weight I gained
for showing me that I am capable of absolutely anything
for reminding me everyday of what is really important
for helping me keep my priorities straight
for proving that the best things in life
are really worth working for...

Speaking Of Great Loss

Kayleb Thomas Ramuten  

January 13 - April 28

As I hold you close, my own dear child

on the second day of this great loss

and wonder how a mother goes on

keeps breathing, when her child's breath has stopped

there is no way to mend that broken heart

there are no words to lesson that great burden

dear little one, my brother's son,

who has left us too soon

so many tears will lift you up, sweet child

so much love with keep your spirit safe

as you travel away from us

Midnight Notes: Baggage

When we board a new train, we can't just throw our old luggage off or leave it sitting on the platform and wave goodbye to it. Remember, we have written our names on those pieces of ourselves, and they will follow us where ever we go. 

- Dedicated to S + J, who I spent the sleepless night thinking about.

Midnight Notes: Love

The more you love, the more you have to lose, but the more you have to gain too.

- Thinking about Jeremiah and Jamie and their incomprehensible loss

April, Eight - Nine Months

 Milestones, Adventures and Misadventures

Waving and saying "baba," our first visit to the Nature Center, opening and closing things; dorrs, books, boxes, attending first wedding & falling asleep OUT in the ergo, pointing, standing up & walking with walker, words Juna understands: hello, goodbye, kitty-cat, more, ...

 

Little Notes: Kicking

One year ago, I first felt Juna moving inside me.

Juna, Who is Nine Months Old Today

My dearest Juna, 
Today you are nine months old:
1) Your time living in the outside world now equals the time you spent growing inside me
2) Clapping when you are happy, peek-a-boo played with the curtains, feeding yourself though very messy, walks and the great outdoors, cats & dogs, opening and closing things, water, licking everything and using your pinchers to pick up the tiniest objects off the floor, are some of your favorite things to do
3) You are becoming you and I am learning who you are
4) I don't know how you could possibly be cuter and more fun than you are today,
but I know it will only increase as you grow
5) When you laugh, the world is put to rights
6) When your heart breaks, mine will break twice
7) You amaze me every single moment I get to spend with you
8) You are my best friend and I am yours
9) Every day I will wish for a better world for you, and I will work to make it happen
Your loving mama, always

Home

My soul has found its home
in your laughter
My soul has come home
in your deep blue eyes