I Am Not A Perfect Mother

I am not the ideal mother
that I always aspired to be
before the reality of motherhood
ascended on me, with all of its'
beauty and heartbreak,
breath-taking wonder
and confused frustrations,
I was never so naive that I believed
that I could be perfect in this,
when I failed to be in the previous
roles in my life, I bit my tongue
when remarking on other moms'
choices who came before me,
acknowlegding that, even though I
didn't think I would do it that way,
I just had no way of knowing,
and I have come to understand
so many of those things that
I looked down on before
I had a child of my own,
So I have made mistakes
and I will doubtless keep making them,
although for now, dear Juna,
you look at me and all you can see
is your mother who loves and adores you
one day you will think differently,
when you are slamming a door
or fighting with me about the boy you see
and I will tell you, "I am not a perfect mother,
but I only want what's best for you."
You may not understand this
for a very long time, but one day
when you are a mother, I hope
you read it and think,
"My mother wasn't perfect,
and neither am I,
but she was a great mom,
and so am I."