Sunny Day
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Unfinished Work
I decided to just publish all those things I haven't finished yet, the story of my life right now... unfinished work.
Two Years
Looking back on the last two years of my life, my life with you,
have been the longest two, the loveliest, most joyous,
the hardest, most challenging years that I have lived so far.
have been the longest two, the loveliest, most joyous,
the hardest, most challenging years that I have lived so far.
Things I've Learned Along the Way Or Wish That I had Known: Advice for Pregnancy and New Mothers
PREGNANCY
1. Two weeks before due date... REST REST REST! Seriously! Tell yourself every morning that you might wake up at midnight that night and labor for two days... then nap and go to bed early... everything else you have to do, can wait! NOTHING is more important then this. You are about to do the hardest job in your whole life, your body needs to be rested to have the strength you'll need to carry you through.
2. My childbirth class prepared me more than anything else. We did Birthing From Within. I felt completely prepared and ready.
GIVING BIRTH
1. This is what got me through the 6 hours of active labor. I said this during each of my 60-some contractions, "This won't last. It's almost over."
2. Trust your body. Your body knows what to do. And if something unexpected does happen...
3. Research all the possibilities. So, if complications do arise you can still be in control and make the best decisions possible, during the birth and after.
Birthing gown was the only thing I brought that I actually used. A super packed fridge, freezer and snacks that you can just grab! It can be very difficult to remember to eat! I got a bunch of baskets and put them in every room of the house, with diapers, wipes, etc. (the changing table was too scary for a newborn, and sometimes you need stuff pronto!) I also lived out of a basket of comfy clothes I put in the bedroom, I could just grab them when I woke). Carrier & Moses Basket (again little babies can be scared in big cribs & then she could sleep where ever I was).
THE NEWBORN
1. NOTHING is more important than baby. Let go. Stop worrying about the house and the laundry.
2. Ask for advice.
3. Don't listen to advice.
4. Support group of new mothers
THE MOTHER
1. Take care of yourself. Yep, everyone says it... but it is difficult to do. I'm still figuring this on out.
1. Two weeks before due date... REST REST REST! Seriously! Tell yourself every morning that you might wake up at midnight that night and labor for two days... then nap and go to bed early... everything else you have to do, can wait! NOTHING is more important then this. You are about to do the hardest job in your whole life, your body needs to be rested to have the strength you'll need to carry you through.
2. My childbirth class prepared me more than anything else. We did Birthing From Within. I felt completely prepared and ready.
GIVING BIRTH
1. This is what got me through the 6 hours of active labor. I said this during each of my 60-some contractions, "This won't last. It's almost over."
2. Trust your body. Your body knows what to do. And if something unexpected does happen...
3. Research all the possibilities. So, if complications do arise you can still be in control and make the best decisions possible, during the birth and after.
Birthing gown was the only thing I brought that I actually used. A super packed fridge, freezer and snacks that you can just grab! It can be very difficult to remember to eat! I got a bunch of baskets and put them in every room of the house, with diapers, wipes, etc. (the changing table was too scary for a newborn, and sometimes you need stuff pronto!) I also lived out of a basket of comfy clothes I put in the bedroom, I could just grab them when I woke). Carrier & Moses Basket (again little babies can be scared in big cribs & then she could sleep where ever I was).
THE NEWBORN
1. NOTHING is more important than baby. Let go. Stop worrying about the house and the laundry.
2. Ask for advice.
3. Don't listen to advice.
4. Support group of new mothers
THE MOTHER
1. Take care of yourself. Yep, everyone says it... but it is difficult to do. I'm still figuring this on out.
Day Care And Why We Decided Not To Do It
This year brings many changes, all of which I look forward to with some trepidation.
We have begun the process of day care, with the goal of three hours three days a week... Juna's rarely stayed with anyone for three hours, even her dad, but she is older now... and I am giving this transition as much time as it needs.
Sleep. Four nights of very poor sleep in two weeks. This is unusual for Juna. She's never been an "awake all night" baby, but on these occasions she woke at her usual time of 1:30 or 3:30 and just could not fall back asleep for about two hours. She had in two months prior had some mild RLS, and I started giving her calcium-magnesium for that. But the last night she didn't sleep, 3 weeks (which was 8 days of day care) into day care, she has such a hard time, moving and kicking wildly around, in and out of sleep, whimpering and talking in her sleep, that I was afraid she would fall out of bed (which I've never been worried about before, she tends to sleep in the same place all night). She also missed two naps during this time. Before we started she had been right on schedule, naps and bedtime at the same time every day and falling asleep in 5-10 minutes with no trouble.
Potty Training. She stopped going #2 on the potty. She had been using the potty for 3 months prior, only twice at home did she go in her diaper, and usually when we were out. She had started also going #1 about a month earlier, which she continued to do. The last two weeks of day care she had also not gone #2 at all on several days. Two days after I told her we wouldn't be going to day care, she pooped in the potty again.
Behavior. She was extra clingy, which wasn't a surprise. She also started wanting to nurse all the time again. The first two days after her hour at day care, without me, she was pretty much a wreck afterward until she had her nap. a few of the days that I left her, she cried and told me she had, but seemed ok. A few of the days she cried hard when I picked her up from day care. These incidents seemed normal enough to me and didn't concern me too much, or give me reason to quit. I knew there would be some adjustment. However, when I began to question whether this was a good decision and whether she was ready for this step, I read this article, and felt this pertained to her.
http://www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doctor-1/best-age-for-kids-to-start-daycare
What actually bothered me most about her behavior was that she started not wanting to be away from me at all and resisted going to spend time with her other caretakers; her father, grandpa and grandma, people that she has been happily staying with for the last 10 months.
There are a few more reasons why we stopped. But the above was enough for me to realize it was just too stressful for her.
We have begun the process of day care, with the goal of three hours three days a week... Juna's rarely stayed with anyone for three hours, even her dad, but she is older now... and I am giving this transition as much time as it needs.
Sleep. Four nights of very poor sleep in two weeks. This is unusual for Juna. She's never been an "awake all night" baby, but on these occasions she woke at her usual time of 1:30 or 3:30 and just could not fall back asleep for about two hours. She had in two months prior had some mild RLS, and I started giving her calcium-magnesium for that. But the last night she didn't sleep, 3 weeks (which was 8 days of day care) into day care, she has such a hard time, moving and kicking wildly around, in and out of sleep, whimpering and talking in her sleep, that I was afraid she would fall out of bed (which I've never been worried about before, she tends to sleep in the same place all night). She also missed two naps during this time. Before we started she had been right on schedule, naps and bedtime at the same time every day and falling asleep in 5-10 minutes with no trouble.
Potty Training. She stopped going #2 on the potty. She had been using the potty for 3 months prior, only twice at home did she go in her diaper, and usually when we were out. She had started also going #1 about a month earlier, which she continued to do. The last two weeks of day care she had also not gone #2 at all on several days. Two days after I told her we wouldn't be going to day care, she pooped in the potty again.
Behavior. She was extra clingy, which wasn't a surprise. She also started wanting to nurse all the time again. The first two days after her hour at day care, without me, she was pretty much a wreck afterward until she had her nap. a few of the days that I left her, she cried and told me she had, but seemed ok. A few of the days she cried hard when I picked her up from day care. These incidents seemed normal enough to me and didn't concern me too much, or give me reason to quit. I knew there would be some adjustment. However, when I began to question whether this was a good decision and whether she was ready for this step, I read this article, and felt this pertained to her.
http://www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doctor-1/best-age-for-kids-to-start-daycare
What actually bothered me most about her behavior was that she started not wanting to be away from me at all and resisted going to spend time with her other caretakers; her father, grandpa and grandma, people that she has been happily staying with for the last 10 months.
There are a few more reasons why we stopped. But the above was enough for me to realize it was just too stressful for her.
A Day Off
This morning, while laying in bed and trying to go back to sleep at 4:30, after Juna's 4th wake-up, I started fantasizing about what I would do if I could have a whole day off from being a mother... and two hundred dollars to spend.
I would wake up when I woke up. I would take a shower. (I would have had a chiropractic adjustment the previous day & lose 10-15lbs so I would feel and look good for my day off.) Next breakfast at a cafe... and I would eat whatever I wanted (probably a bagel and cream cheese or eggs and bacon). Then an hour massage and a haircut. Shopping for 2 outfits (one for the day and one for night) at my favorite stores (not sure what stores they are since I never go shopping for new clothes). Next, lunch with a friend at Chai Pani or Doc Cheys or Pastabilities and take in an afternoon feel-good matinee. On this nice sunny warm day, I would take a walk somewhere beautiful and sit down and write/read poetry in the sun. Then I would have dinner with another friend at Tomato, the Carne Argentina and a bottle of nice wine. Then I would go, by myself, to one of the many new bars/restaurants that have opened since my days started ending very early 2 years ago, and read and write while I watched people go by. Then I would get home and my husband would seduce me with a dozen roses, and we would feel and look like we did the first night we met almost 10 years ago. Lastly, I would go to bed at 10 with my arms around my sleeping child, hearing her breathing and feeling her heartbeat next to mine.
I know, a crazy fantasy, but since it is a fantasy, I can have just whatever I want!
How my day really goes...
Juna wakes me up and either wants to get up right away, usually when I am still half asleep or wants to stay in bed forever, usually when I have been awake since she last woke me and so ready to get out of bed, or I wake way too early and can't back to sleep. Juna and I take baths together, so we usually don't bathe until naptime or bedtime, because it helps her fall asleep. So the first thing we do it make tea and breakfast,
rough draft... to be continued...
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