Day Care And Why We Decided Not To Do It

This year brings many changes, all of which I look forward to with some trepidation.

We have begun the process of day care, with the goal of three hours three days a week... Juna's rarely stayed with anyone for three hours, even her dad, but she is older now... and I am giving this transition as much time as it needs.

Sleep.  Four nights of very poor sleep in two weeks.  This is unusual for Juna.  She's never been an "awake all night" baby, but on these occasions she woke at her usual time of 1:30 or 3:30 and just could not fall back asleep for about two hours.  She had in two months prior had some mild RLS, and I started giving her calcium-magnesium for that.  But the last night she didn't sleep, 3 weeks (which was 8 days of day care) into day care, she has such a hard time, moving and kicking wildly around, in and out of sleep, whimpering and talking in her sleep, that I was afraid she would fall out of bed (which I've never been worried about before, she tends to sleep in the same place all night).   She also missed two naps during this time.  Before we started she had been right on schedule, naps and bedtime at the same time every day and falling asleep in 5-10 minutes with no trouble.

Potty Training.  She stopped going #2 on the potty.  She had been using the potty for 3 months prior, only twice at home did she go in her diaper, and usually when we were out.  She had started also going #1 about a month earlier, which she continued to do.  The last two weeks of day care she had also not gone #2 at all on several days.  Two days after I told her we wouldn't be going to day care, she pooped in the potty again.

Behavior.  She was extra clingy, which wasn't a surprise.  She also started wanting to nurse all the time again.  The first two days after her hour at day care, without me, she was pretty much a wreck afterward until she had her nap.  a few of the days that I left her, she cried and told me she had, but seemed ok.  A few of the days she cried hard when I picked her up from day care.  These incidents seemed normal enough to me and didn't concern me too much, or give me reason to quit.  I knew there would be some adjustment.  However, when I began to question whether this was a good decision and whether she was ready for this step, I read this article, and felt this pertained to her.

http://www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doctor-1/best-age-for-kids-to-start-daycare

What actually bothered me most about her behavior was that she started not wanting to be away from me at all and resisted going to spend time with her other caretakers; her father, grandpa and grandma, people that she has been happily staying with for the last 10 months.

There are a few more reasons why we stopped.  But the above was enough for me to realize it was just too stressful for her. 

A Day Off

This morning, while laying in bed and trying to go back to sleep at 4:30, after Juna's 4th wake-up, I started fantasizing about what I would do if I could have a whole day off from being a mother... and two hundred dollars to spend.

I would wake up when I woke up.  I would take a shower.  (I would have had a chiropractic adjustment the previous day & lose 10-15lbs so I would feel and look good for my day off.)  Next breakfast at a cafe... and I would eat whatever I wanted (probably a bagel and cream cheese or eggs and bacon).  Then an hour massage and a haircut.  Shopping for 2 outfits (one for the day and one for night) at my favorite stores (not sure what stores they are since I never go shopping for new clothes).  Next, lunch with a friend at Chai Pani or Doc Cheys or Pastabilities and take in an afternoon feel-good matinee.  On this nice sunny warm day, I would take a walk somewhere beautiful and sit down and write/read poetry in the sun.  Then I would have dinner with another friend at Tomato, the Carne Argentina and a bottle of nice wine.  Then I would go, by myself, to one of the many new bars/restaurants that have opened since my days started ending very early 2 years ago, and read and write while I watched people go by.  Then I would get home and my husband would seduce me with a dozen roses, and we would feel and look like we did the first night we met almost 10 years ago.  Lastly, I would go to bed at 10 with my arms around my sleeping child, hearing her breathing and feeling her heartbeat next to mine.

I know, a crazy fantasy, but since it is a fantasy, I can have just whatever I want!

How my day really goes...

Juna wakes me up and either wants to get up right away, usually when I am still half asleep or wants to stay in bed forever, usually when I have been awake since she last woke me and so ready to get out of bed, or I wake way too early and can't back to sleep.  Juna and I take baths together, so we usually don't bathe until naptime or bedtime, because it helps her fall asleep.  So the first thing we do it make tea and breakfast,

rough draft... to be continued...

My Dearest Daughter

 To My Dearest Daughter,

There is so much I want to tell you,
about how you unfold my heart,
how it feels like the sea and the sky
never ending, how in the beginning
I held your small body inside mine
as you grew, I grew too, in ways I never knew
were possible, your heartbeat was mine,
and my love for you was like nothing
I could have ever imagined, and how
you came to be in my arms, and my arms
felt like the shore, holding your eternal
light, keeping you safe from any storm,
I want to tell you how you open my soul,
with everything that you do, each moment
that I spend with you is like the sunlight
and the moonshine, which I carry you

outside to see when it's brilliance
makes a halo that seems heavenly,
like you, my little sun, my little moon.

 

In preparation of grandpa Duke's arrival from across the yard, after a 3 weeks absence.

What Does Juna Do, One Month Shy of Two

"I did it!" one of Juna's favorite phrases,
she uses all day long, for all of the amazing things
she does each day of her 23 months!

She loves to hang on everything,
on bars, on cars, on mommy and daddy's arms,
even upside down, which makes mama say, "Yikes!"

She loves to jump, jump, jump and "RUN!"
especially wearing "Alex's shoes,"
and when there are puddles underfoot.

"What sound is that?" she asks,
with her hand over her ear, and when
she hears the rain, she sings, "Ran, Rain, Go way..."

She loves to feed the fish, and
swim like a fish in any kind of "wawee"
and play in the bubbles too.

She likes to do most things her "self"
like wash from head to toe, she scrubs
her tummy and her hands, and mama's too.

She sings her ABCs something like this,
"ABCEUNO..." and also "la la Elmo, la la Elmo"
and many other tunes.

She says "please,""thank you" and "sorry"
and almost all other things, she gives hugs and kisses,
and asks for them when she gets an "ouchie."

She goes poo-poo on the potty,
something she taught her self, "I did it!"
she says, as she flushes it down.

She is a regular dog-walker,
and wipes her face and says, "yuck"
when she gets kisses on her face.

She loves to feed grandpa's chickens,
right out of her hand, my brave little girl
who's growing and growing and growing away.

My Beautiful Daughter

I'm going to tell you that you're beautiful, because you are,
I'm going to tell you that you're smart, because you are,
I'm going to tell you that you're strong and brave and incredible!

I'm going to tell you that you're sweet, because you are,
I'm going to tell you that you are creative, because you are,
I'm going to tell you that you're fun and silly and lovely!

I'm going to tell you that you make me laugh, because you do,
I'm going to tell you that you make me smile, because you do,
I'm going to tell you that I believe in you, because I do!

I'm going to call you my baby, because you are,
I'm going to tell you that you are wonderful, because you are,
I'm going to tell you that you are something special always!

My Juna, 22 Months Old Today

There is love in each of your ten little toes,
and it flows right up to your cute little nose,
and on the crown of your head it makes a halo,
which shines on me when you smile,
And there is love in each of your ten fingers,
and it reaches with your arms right up to the sky,
I know why your magic always makes me sigh,
because there is love where ever my sweet Juna goes.