And The Hits Keep On Coming
I was feeling pretty hopeless this morning. Juna's viral conjunctivitis (pink eye) seemed to have cleared on Saturday, I read that it is only contagious while visible (I'm not sure if that also means you only have it as long as it's visible), but this morning she woke with her eyes all crusted, but no redness or tears. She DID NOT wake with a coughing attack last night, halleluiah! She did the last four nights and it was awful. But she did wake 10 times, give or take, but was able to go back to sleep easily most of those times... no so for me, of course. Oh, but back to why I'm feeling hopeless... of course six days of not sleeping after a three month period of a string of illnesses doesn't do much for your optimism level, nor for energy, emotional and physical well-being.
Sunday - Day 5
Mommy Zombie
It is one of the hardest thing to separate from your child when they are very upset, sick and crying, but sometimes it must be done. I have knots in my stomach every time. We had another night of coughing and I am totally exhausted, not to mention Juna woke at six and didn't go back to sleep. So at nine-thirty we started getting ready for her outing with daddy, and it all went smoothly until the last bit... getting her bunny ready to go. She is tired and sick and everything is harder for her. I sympathize, but I did what I could, then I had to throw in the towel. I can't do anymore. I can not encourage, insist or fight with her. I am just too worn out. So her father just left with her crying and calling for mommy, and it makes me feel sick. But sometimes that is the way it goes.
Saturday - Day 4
Maternal Instincts
I've often thought that having a sick baby brings out the best in the mother. It's biological. Everything else fades into the background when you need to focus on the well-being of offspring. However, after what feels like three months of illness, my maternal instincts are being put to the test.
The Trying-to-keep-it-cool Mama
We've had some rough illnesses here of late. The stomach virus was certainly the worst. And from that came the UTI. Then recovering from those and the antibiotics has taken weeks. Currently, it's viral conjunctivitis and a cold. Juna is about twenty times more emotional and reactionary then usual, and I have to say it has pushed my patience to its limit. Yesterday she was happy for about two hours, if you put all of the 10-15 minute increments together, and crying the rest of the time. When she was a baby, she got her first illness, an ear infection, at 10 months, all I felt was compassion. Now it's harder to maintain that sympathy hour after hour and meltdown after meltdown. I mean, she IS a TWO year old now, which is already extremely challenging. When she is sick, it's like, well, torture. If I had top secret secrets and someone wanted to get them out of me, they would just have to say that I had to take care of my sick child with no relief in sight. No one would ever come and relieve me... I would divulge all of my secrets in a heartbeat. Luckily, I had already begun practicing taking deep breaths when we were having a tough time, so I was able to put this into practice the last few days. And I feel I did quite well, under the circumstances. Considering I was managing on little sleep myself. I did raise my voice twice. Although I don't like to do this out of anger and frustration, it did seem to work. It jostled her out of her emotional spiral and she was able to communicate, and it didn't make her more upset.
The Awake-all-night Mama
When your baby wakes you in the night and needs you, you turn into super mom. Your maternal instincts kick in and you do what ever you can to comfort and make your baby better. This has been crazy coughing attacks this week. It's pretty awful. She is so congested that she eventually has to cough/vomit it all up.
Disclaimer: I am writing this after many a night of being woken five or six times and getting about five hours of broken sleep.
what a nice picture of mother and daughter ~ js
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