Speaking Of Great Loss

Kayleb Thomas Ramuten  

January 13 - April 28

As I hold you close, my own dear child

on the second day of this great loss

and wonder how a mother goes on

keeps breathing, when her child's breath has stopped

there is no way to mend that broken heart

there are no words to lesson that great burden

dear little one, my brother's son,

who has left us too soon

so many tears will lift you up, sweet child

so much love with keep your spirit safe

as you travel away from us

Midnight Notes: Baggage

When we board a new train, we can't just throw our old luggage off or leave it sitting on the platform and wave goodbye to it. Remember, we have written our names on those pieces of ourselves, and they will follow us where ever we go. 

- Dedicated to S + J, who I spent the sleepless night thinking about.

Midnight Notes: Love

The more you love, the more you have to lose, but the more you have to gain too.

- Thinking about Jeremiah and Jamie and their incomprehensible loss

April, Eight - Nine Months

 Milestones, Adventures and Misadventures

Waving and saying "baba," our first visit to the Nature Center, opening and closing things; dorrs, books, boxes, attending first wedding & falling asleep OUT in the ergo, pointing, standing up & walking with walker, words Juna understands: hello, goodbye, kitty-cat, more, ...

 

Little Notes: Kicking

One year ago, I first felt Juna moving inside me.

Juna, Who is Nine Months Old Today

My dearest Juna, 
Today you are nine months old:
1) Your time living in the outside world now equals the time you spent growing inside me
2) Clapping when you are happy, peek-a-boo played with the curtains, feeding yourself though very messy, walks and the great outdoors, cats & dogs, opening and closing things, water, licking everything and using your pinchers to pick up the tiniest objects off the floor, are some of your favorite things to do
3) You are becoming you and I am learning who you are
4) I don't know how you could possibly be cuter and more fun than you are today,
but I know it will only increase as you grow
5) When you laugh, the world is put to rights
6) When your heart breaks, mine will break twice
7) You amaze me every single moment I get to spend with you
8) You are my best friend and I am yours
9) Every day I will wish for a better world for you, and I will work to make it happen
Your loving mama, always