A work in progress....
Dear Juna,
You are three years old now. You have been sleeping with me since the day you were born. It has been one of the sweetest experiences of my life. I have loved feeling your warm little body next to mine, hearing you breath peacefully in the night, feeling that you are safe right next to me, being able to respond to you the moment you need me, night nursing, waking to your face on the pillow beside me and morning cuddling. Now that you are three, your father and I have decided it is time to transition you into your own room and you own bed. If it were just up to me, I probably would sleep with you for longer, but because there are various factors, I do think it is the best thing to do. I do think you are ready, or will be by the time the total transition takes place. It will be a process, as every change and development has been.
First, we redid your room for your third birthday...
But I also think of you, my little child, in the big bed, in the big room all by yourself, all night long, while the big people, who need no care, are sleeping together in another room, and it kind of doesn't make sense to me. I also know, this will be a transition for me as well, and that it might be difficult for me to sleep well with you so far away. I might have to get up during the night to check on you. This may be completely normal, but I know I also have some over-protective feeling, partly because three children have passed away in our family, and this makes me more nervous about being away from you.
Day 1 - July 28
I
just left Juna in her new room, in her big girl bed, reading books to
herself. The room isn't completely finishing and I wasn't planning on
her transitioning for another week or so, but she said she wanted to go
to bed all by herself, read books all by herself, sleep all by
herself tonight and not nurse. WOW! That, of course, doesn't mean that it will
happen, but it does mean she is excited about it and her new found
independence in her big girl room!
Two minutes later... I didn't think to turn on her nightlight, so she read her books, then turned off her light and found herself in the dark (she is used to sleeping in the dark, but in her hew room, she is going to have a night light). So she came out to get me. Then she wanted to try sleeping in her loft, which I did not foresee. It has a sleeping bag but not the foam mattress yet. She climbed in, I left her nightlight on, and two minutes later she came out to tell me she wanted to sleep in the big bed with me.
Day 2 - July 29
Well, the bedtime routine just got a lot longer. Juna's been having a difficult time falling sleep the last two weeks. First it was just taking longer (usually takes 20-30 minutes but started gradually taking up to fifty minutes) and then for three days she was screaming and crying (about going to bed, then when I stopped nursing her), until last night when she went to sleep fine but still took a while. So, not a great time to be adding to our bedtime routine.
Our usual routine is long enough and goes like this:
8:15 - 10 minutes of TV (8:00 if bath)
8:30 - Jammies on, potty time, brush teeth
8:45 - Read books
9:00 - 9:20 - Lights out, What we did today? (review & preview), nursing & songs
9:20 - 9:30 - Roll over and fall asleep (except this is taking until 9:50 or so these days)
Now, we are adding in:
8:45 - 9:10 - Practicing going to sleep in own bed, practicing sleeping in loft, going into big bed
So, she wanted to try again. Own bed, loft, then big bed. This transitioning is exhausting.
August 13
Juna and I have been sleeping in her bed for 3 nights with no trouble. The last step was getting a new air conditioner for her room. I still need to fix the window so it is dark in there, that has been a pain. Of course, it is a real pain sleeping in her little twin bed with her... the first night we just had the cheap thin mattress on it and I woke felling so sore and awful, but I put a big blanket and mattress cover on it and it is a little better. Juna loves her new room and likes sleeping in her own bed. She had been under the impression that it meant her sleeping alone, and she was having some trouble with that, of course, she has no problem with me sleeping with her.
