Breastfeeding Is Obscene... Really?

A note on the war on public breastfeeding...
It's what's in the minds of those looking at breastfeeding and thinking it is obscene that we have to worry about, not the moms doing it. And I'm wondering which of these definitions apply, I'm assuming a. for men (if you can't control your sexual desire when seeing breasts, you are going to have a much bigger problem in this culture them BFing, since there are literally naked breasts everywhere, ads & TV, and you need to get some help... you have some sexual issues) and I don't even know what to think about women who are against public BFing, I feel very bad for them and how repressed they must feel, although it doesn't surprise me considering it's been a very short time since women were considered equal... and face it, we still have a long long way to go before we actually are treated equal.

Definition of OBSCENE

1

: disgusting to the senses : repulsive

2

a : abhorrent to morality or virtue; specifically : designed to incite to lust or depravity

b : containing or being language regarded as taboo in polite usage <obscene lyrics>

c : repulsive by reason of crass disregard of moral or ethical principles <an obscene misuse of power>

d : so excessive as to be offensive <obscene wealth> <obscene waste>

Patience

For me, patience is remembering to slow down and enjoy the moments of "waiting," which are just part of the experience.  Observing Juna learning used to be such a joy, but then something changed... waiting for her to get herself ready became annoying... because I always felt like I was in such a rush, so I have to remind myself to enjoy those incredible moments again and be amazed again at how she has taught herself how to dress, zip, button, etc. and be grateful that she is so independent.

to be continued...

On Nursing Your Baby To Sleep

Where is the "Nurse your baby to sleep because you have breasts which make milk which actually produce sleep-inducing breastmilk," option? I just do not understand this whole push to separate our babies from us, to "teach/force" them to take care of themselves... ummm, why does a 3 week old need to take care of itself? I mean, we just did everything for them for 9 months... now suddenly, here they are, and we are told and encouraged to start making them independent. Well, no thank you. I choose another route. I choose to hold my baby, as long as she needed me to, to nurse her to sleep until she started falling asleep all on her own (without me training her), to wake in the night to help her back to sleep, to sleep with her little body beside mine, to meet her needs and to let her decide when she was ready for independence. Have I greatly suffered because I have chosen this path? I can tell you that I don't regret any of it. I can tell you that I have a healthy, happy, independent child who sleeps very well.

Co-sleeping At 32 Months

I love co-sleeping.  I keep meaning to write something about it, but haven't gotten to it... However, I am always posting comments about it... here is one...


I LOVE co-sleeping! It's one of the best experiences of my life! My child is still sleeping with me at 2 1/2 and we plan to transition her to her own bed at 3. My husband actually doesn't sleep with us but it is because he has terrible insomnia, snoring and a totally different sleep schedule. My child has never been a night-waker or night-cryer because I have always been able to take care of her as soon as she needs me, and I was always able to get a lot more sleep... I seriously can't even imagine dragging myself out of bed, walking to another room, picking my child up, who is probably already awake and upset, sitting in a chair for 30 minutes, then trying to put the baby back in bed without waking her, then dragging myself back to bed... seriously sounds like torture to me. If I or my child is awake for too long... say 10 min, then we have a much harder time going back to sleep. Luckily, this only ever happens to us if she is sick. And besides not getting any sleep, I just cound't be that far away from my baby... I seriously wouldn't have been able to sleep at all thinking about her being so far away. When she was newborn, I used to listen to her breath or sometimes put my hand on her chest to make sure she was ok. I never ever was worried about her sleeping with me. I was so hyper-aware of her being there and woke with her every movement, but would fall right back to sleep if she didn't need me, I'm a very light sleeper. Anyway, I don't think it is right for everyone, but it has definitely been the one of the sweetest parts of parenthood for me and my child!!

My Father

My father is the best father that a father can be.
He wasn't always a perfect father.
Now that I am a parent I know it it a long process.
It takes adaptability, flexibility, patience and, of course, love.
My father has all of those qualites,
which led him to be the father he is today.
A role model for me.

He is ALWAYS there for me.  I don't exaggerate.
When I say "always," I mean every single time.
When I have been stranded, he comes to the rescue.
Whether I am on the side of the road somewhere,
with a busted tire or a dead battery,
or an emotional wreck.

He is the best listener that I know.
He is quiet and patient and just listens.
He does not interrupt, or judge,
and always gives his full attention.
He is supportive and kind and wise.

My Definition Of Success

Success: To be thankful and happy with what you have and to continuously strive to improve yourself and the world around you by doing what fulfills you.

Success Part I: To be thankful and happy with what you have...
- Create visible reminders of what you are grateful for (make signs with Juna)
- Give thanks at dinner time (create routine)
- Get rid of clutter and things you don't use

Success Part II: continuously strive to improve yourself and the world around you...
- Set realistic goals
- Create a community
- Be active in your community 
- Find what you feel strongly about and do something
- Educate yourself, never stop learning

Success Part III: doing what fulfills you...
- Work must be something you enjoy, that you can be successful at and continue to grow in
- A healthy work environment
- Free time should also be fulfilling
- Spend quality time alone & with others

to be continued...



Note: This question and its musing were inspired by my friend, fellow blogger & mom, Katie Davis.

Maternal Instincts Or Caring For Your Sick Child Is Akin To Torture

This Morning - Day 6

And The Hits Keep On Coming
I was feeling pretty hopeless this morning.  Juna's viral conjunctivitis (pink eye) seemed to have cleared on Saturday, I read that it is only contagious while visible (I'm not sure if that also means you only have it as long as it's visible), but this morning she woke with her eyes all crusted, but no redness or tears.  She DID NOT wake with a coughing attack last night, halleluiah!  She did the last four nights and it was awful.  But she did wake 10 times, give or take, but was able to go back to sleep easily most of those times... no so for me, of course.  Oh, but back to why I'm feeling hopeless... of course six days of not sleeping after a three month period of a string of illnesses doesn't do much for your optimism level, nor for energy, emotional and physical well-being.

Sunday - Day 5

Mommy Zombie
It is one of the hardest thing to separate from your child when they are very upset, sick and crying, but sometimes it must be done.  I have knots in my stomach every time.  We had another night of coughing and I am totally exhausted, not to mention Juna woke at six and didn't go back to sleep.  So at nine-thirty we started getting ready for her outing with daddy, and it all went smoothly until the last bit... getting her bunny ready to go.  She is tired and sick and everything is harder for her.  I sympathize, but I did what I could, then I had to throw in the towel.  I can't do anymore.  I can not encourage, insist or fight with her.  I am just too worn out.  So her father just left with her crying and calling for mommy, and it makes me feel sick.  But sometimes that is the way it goes. 

Saturday - Day 4

Maternal Instincts
I've often thought that having a sick baby brings out the best in the mother.  It's biological.  Everything else fades into the background when you need to focus on the well-being of offspring. However, after what feels like three months of illness, my maternal instincts are being put to the test.

The Trying-to-keep-it-cool Mama
We've had some rough illnesses here of late.  The stomach virus was certainly the worst.  And from that came the UTI.  Then recovering from those and the antibiotics has taken weeks.  Currently, it's viral conjunctivitis and a cold.  Juna is about twenty times more emotional and reactionary then usual, and I have to say it has pushed my patience to its limit.  Yesterday she was happy for about two hours, if you put all of the 10-15 minute increments together, and crying the rest of the time.  When she was a baby, she got her first illness, an ear infection, at 10 months, all I felt was compassion.  Now it's harder to maintain that sympathy hour after hour and meltdown after meltdown.  I mean, she IS a TWO year old now, which is already extremely challenging.  When she is sick, it's like, well, torture.  If I had top secret secrets and someone wanted to get them out of me, they would just have to say that I had to take care of my sick child with no relief in sight.  No one would ever come and relieve me... I would divulge all of my secrets in a heartbeat.  Luckily, I had already begun practicing taking deep breaths when we were having a tough time, so I was able to put this into practice the last few days.  And I feel I did quite well, under the circumstances.  Considering I was managing on little sleep myself.  I did raise my voice twice.  Although I don't like to do this out of anger and frustration, it did seem to work.  It jostled her out of her emotional spiral and she was able to communicate, and it didn't make her more upset. 

The Awake-all-night Mama
When your baby wakes you in the night and needs you, you turn into super mom.  Your maternal instincts kick in and you do what ever you can to comfort and make your baby better.  This has been crazy coughing attacks this week.  It's pretty awful.  She is so congested that she eventually has to cough/vomit it all up. 

Disclaimer:  I am writing this after many a night of being woken five or six times and getting about five hours of broken sleep.